you debilitate me,

destroy me;

but for the love

of god, I wouldn’t

want it any other way.




(Wow, I don’t even know why I’m not doing normal blog posts, but let’s just roll with this.)


Winter Love.

Okay, wow. Since I prefer writing posts on my phone and not my laptop (only because I’m too lazy to work in this room, I’d rather work in my room – long story), I can now finally understand what everyone was talking about. I was like, did the app get updated? I don’t see anything? But now I know, it’s the desktop version that got all snazzy. I’m not quite sure how I feel about this update, though.

Well, on with this post. We are well into November (my birthday’s close, ooh, learner’s license!), and the cold has made itself known. Well, it’s not quite all there (when is it ever in this part of the country?), but everyone can feel the chill in the air now. If my frozen feet (alliteration!) are any indication to go by, I’ll be sporting frozen blocks for hands quite soon. That is another thing about me – I get quite heated up in the summer, and get nauseous and dehydrated, and all that stuff. But when it comes to winters, ooh! I become everyone’s personal snowman (or should it be snowwoman?). That brings me to what the title is all about.

Welcome to the season of non consensual hand holding!

Well, that holds true in my case. I had very successfully got my hands all warm and toasty by forcing guys with warm hands to hold my hand. If they failed to comply, they would get an earful of whining and if they’re mighty unlucky, a scratch on their arm. (As you probably don’t know, my best friend calls me a wild cat because scratching is a major component of my self defense routine. Or, my annoying routine. Or, my pay-attention-to-me-okay routine.) So, after grumbling for a few (blushing too, god, tenth grade boys) they basically resigned themselves to the fact that I’m gonna hold their hand and there’s nothing they can do about it. So, yes.

A friend told me there are things called pockets and gloves (thanks babe, I’ve been living under a rock all my life)(well, he got a sarcastic reply to that, so it’s okay), and that is true, but there is also the fact that they absolutely nothing for me. Honest. So, non consensual hand holding it is.

Eh, there’s nothing all that new, I suppose. I’m getting high on cutesy fanfiction, and not studying as much as I should. You can’t blame me, I feel so bored. Which is sort of stupid – all throughout tenth grade I thought I’d have such a ball in eleventh, because I’d actually study for a change. Why is that? Well, simply because all I wanted to study in tenth was science. Science, science, science! Now, not so much. I wish I could somehow get all the excitement back, you know?

Well, there’s not much to talk about. I watched Dead Poets Society, and the only thing stopping me from giving a blow by blow account of my feelings throughout the scenes of the film is, that I want to see it again before doing so. But really, Robert Sean Leonard is LOVE.

I’m also sort of struggling with the whole idea of making notes from the textbook, lol. Maybe it gets better with practice? Sigh!

OH DID I MENTION MY DAD’S TEACHING ME HOW TO DRIVE A CAR?  WELL, HE IS! That’s exciting, yes? I really hope gears go out of fashion. It is so tough to change gears. xD

Anyway, I need to finish a chapter in physics before I sleep, which is in about three hours. So, I’ll have to take my leave.

Sky xoxo.

P.S.: Is The Weeknd very popular or something? I got told his music is an acquired taste, which does seem so at the moment.

A Whole Lot of Stuff.

I have been putting off writing for a long time, and I don’t even know why. It’s stupid. So, it’s been a whole week since my school closed for Diwali. Needless to say, I wasted a lot of time. I’m not even ashamed to admit it. 😂

I’ve had quite a productive unproductive holiday so far, though. I completed a season of House MD, and am just five episodes or so away from completing the second season. However, that means my love for Dr House has returned full fledgedly. And it’s kind of problematic, because I established it last year that there is not a lot of my preferred fanfiction about House MD. So sad!

I also watched Paper Towns (FINALLY), and god, do I love it! It had Cara in it, so I obviously had a field day, fangirling and what not. xD

What else? I made the usual rangoli I make every day for Diwali:

I made it all by myself! Thought of the design myself, the colour scheme, and coloured it in, too!

Lol, ignore my feet. Anyway, so I spent like three hours on this. It seems like a lot, but making it was tough. xD

Anyway, I didn’t really do anything on Diwali. I decided to not burst crackers last year, so that was continued this time, as well. I wore a new white dress, and it was nice. Then we had the puja, after which we wished our neighbours, and all that. I started feeling dizzy soon, so I laid on my bed, and started watching House after a while.

Eh, what else? I don’t remember. Oh yes, I’m having trouble sleeping. My folks aren’t paying much attention to that, passing it off as, “Oh, you’ve been going to bed late since ninth grade, of course you won’t fall asleep early,” and, “Maybe if you didn’t nap in the afternoons, then maybe you’d be able to sleep at night.”

The only flaw to this is, that even when I didn’t nap in the afternoon maybe two days ago (more like was forced not to), I still didn’t go to sleep till like four thirty in the morning. And I try not to tell mom dad about the pain, but it does get too much sometimes. Like it does at night. I wish they would listen to me, take me a little more seriously. I love them a lot, and try not to tell them a lot about how I’m feeling so they don’t worry, but it gets a bit too much when everything I’m feeling is due to me never exercising or not making an effort to clean up my daily routine. Which is bull, as I do make an effort. Then, mom is like where does it hurt? And I’m like, nowhere. And then she’s like, you should tell me, please don’t hide things from me.

I try mommy, but I don’t want to hurt you more than you already are hurt by the whole thing.

Well, anyway, moving on.

One of my tuition friends, VP, has gone to France. The day I found about the Paris ordeal, I kind of freaked out. But I tried to be all like, okay, be optimistic. So, I’ve kinda stopped thinking about it. Otherwise, it’d be bad. So, I’m just  thinking that he’s gonna come back tomorrow or day after, and he’ll be fine, and we’ll go back to playing table tennis after math class, and I’ll trash his study table again.

Okay, something cheery, something rainbow-y. Did I talk about how Dr Chase is? Like, so, so pretty. How are people so pretty? God, why. And okay, so there are pretty people. Why are there no pretty boys in my school? Okay there are a few in twelfth, but I have purely platonic friendships with them! There are no pretty date worthy guys in my class, and that sucks!

So, I decided to start studying physics; there’s gonna be a huge three chapter test on the first day back. God, that is so not ideal. Why? Because of so many reasons. Who wants a test on the first day back?

I’ve made up with RS, the guy who broke up with AN, my best friend. I’ve mentioned her before, I think. He messaged me, and was all like begging for forgiveness. I am all about forgiveness, so I forgave him. It is, however, difficult for me to forget, so that’s that. Speaking of AN, she’s having a hard time in boarding school. I feel so sad.

I also got my glasses played around with. The current ones are better, the previous ones gave me a headache. Eh, a few friends told me I look pretty in glasses, but I’m not so convinced.

I had a conversation today, where I called my friend’s iPhone an iNinny, and it was so funny! xD

I wanted him to send me songs and he was like iPhone, so no, sorry, and I told him to throw his iNinny on the wall and and ask for a new phone. I’m so cool. xD

I can think of nothing else to say, so that’s all for now. Next post, I will talk about JC’s upcoming birthday, and the gang’s plan for it. Then, I’ll talk about DS’s and my conversations. And maybe I’ll throw in something else.

Love always,
Sky xoxo.

About a Boy.

This post was actually inspired by a guy I saw on the road today, while going back home after school… The guy was wearing a shirt which is part of the uniform of the coaching institute I went to, and it reminded me of something (rather someone) I had forgotten.

So, just before I left those classes, I met this guy.

It took me at least a good fifteen minutes to reach classes, and so I used to leave home by 3:45 pm, even though classes started at 3:30. Haha! Actually, my school gets over by 2:55. I reach home by 3:10, or 3:15. I change, and eat food. I’m a slow eater as it is, so I got ready by 3:40, eating food and changing into class appropriate clothes (basically the shirt which was compulsory for everyone, and a pair of jeans).

So once I got to the place, I got into the elevator. We picked up a few people, even from the -1 floor (parking), and then went up. Usually, kids get off a floor or two below the actual floor because it isn’t allowed for the students to use the lift (but I’m allowed because apparently being sick has privileges). Well, these Gujarati speaking people had to get off on some place, and there was only me in the lift, along with this guy.

So, a woman asked me what floor it was in Gujarati, and me, being the dummy I am, replied in Hindi telling her I don’t know Gujarati. The guy with me in the lift looks at me with an amused look, and relays the required information in Gujarati.

After the people got off, it was only the two of us in the lift. He asked me if I was new to the city, and if that’s why I don’t know the language. I laughingly reply that I’ve lived here for years, but still haven’t managed to pick up the language. We asked each other what grade we were in, what subjects we were studying, and the like, and by that time, we had come to our floor.

With a slight smile, he told me he’d see me around, to which I nodded, smiling back all the same.

That was so nice – meeting him, I mean. He was polite, tall, and had a really good voice. I’m a sucker for tall guys with good voices (my ex was six feet some inches, with a pretty hot voice, but that wasn’t why I was with him :P), and this guy was my age, and he was quite nice to talk to, considering the fact that I hated my coaching institute, for it was full of dunderheads.

Well, not actually. It had quite a lot of smart people, but what I mean here is, it was filled to the brim with vapid, insipid people. I never really found anyone worth talking to, except people I already knew — like VP and DS. I was actually quite good friends with PJ, but she used to sit with HS, and I hate HS. She’s terrible, and tactless. And annoying. And twice or thrice, I was made fun of for talking to VP in English, and the guy was like, “Bas, hame English nahi aati!” Which is basically Hindi for ‘Stop, we don’t know English.” I felt like saying that yeah, you obviously don’t, but I didn’t, you know why? Because contrary to popular belief, I’m a nice and polite person.

Bottom line is, I didn’t look forward to breaks between classes. At all. I actually didn’t look forward to the classes. Not even a smidge. I used to feel suffocated there.

So, this guy. Wow! A breath of fresh air. I actually didn’t get his name (or his number, for that matter :P), but all we had was that we’d see each other around. I was smiling on the way to my classroom.

When I got to the classroom, five minutes into the class there was an announcement — kids who haven’t received their ID cards, should collect them from the office. So, I was the only one, along with another girl. We made our way to the office, and there’s that guy again! I saw him and he smiled at me, and I smiled back.

It was nice. After that, I never saw him again. Well, that was mostly because I only attended a few classes after that, and then left the institute altogether.

It wasn’t like love at first sight or anything — no. Quite the opposite. It was nice, because I thought he could be interesting company and a potential future friend.

I didn’t even remember all of this, till I saw a guy wearing the shirt on the road, probably waiting for the institute’s transport to pick him up. I then remembered how I used to get late, and then I remembered this. It was quite nice. I wish I had gotten to know him more, but I don’t, really. More than half the times, I tend to make people out to be more than what they are. So, in a way, it was probably for the best.

Also, quite a lot of stuff transpired over the past week, but that’ll be for another post. Be on the lookout!

Love always,
Sky xoxo.

P.S.: I’m so tired of using so many tags and categories! I’m gonna cut down on them.