She was lost in thought, that much he could tell. He could almost feel the cogs in her brain turning and moving back and forth, at an almost manic sort of pace.
She looked as if she was faraway.
She might as well have been, because he didn’t know what it was she was thinking about. Before, he might’ve thought that she was wondering about what to do about her assignment’s deadline at the job, or how to care for their dog now that they were moving to a place that didn’t allow pets, or maybe even what to make for dinner that night.
But the truth was that he knew better than that.
Or maybe that just went on to say just how less he actually knew her, but truth be told, she wasn’t an easy person to know. Actually, she was the most difficult and complicated person he had ever stumbled across in his relatively short and inconsequential life.
He loved her, and she knew that. On some level, she probably reciprocated his feelings. But she was such a difficult book to read, and every time he tried to, he felt like he was trying to decode an otherworldly language of which he knew nothing about.
She finally took notice of him, just him; standing with his back to the wall, eyebrows scrunched together, a gentle worriness in his eyes. His mouth was slightly turned downwards, as if he was thinking of things to say but had nothing to start with.
Worrying never looked good on him, she knew that since the day she met him. The way his face lit up when he was happy, or something close to it, was something she could see every waking moment of every day for the rest of her days and not get tired of.
He was the best thing that had happened to her, and she knew she didn’t deserve him. He didn’t deserve what she had to offer; no, he was so pure, so innocent, so good.
She was nothing but the inevitable darkness that would one day swallow him up and spit him out, to be forever changed and irreparable.
How could she put him through that?
I wanted this to have a more definite train of thought than the amorphous shit I typed, but I just needed to write. God, it’s been so fucking long since I wrote something.