I’m Thinking…

That I should do so much stuff.

1. I should study.
I have physics homework. I have chemistry homework. English, math. What more? Oh yeah, all the practical notebooks to complete. Not to forget how I have a test or two next week, and the chemistry exam I still haven’t given is also scheduled for next week. That reminds me, I am done with the biology exam! I’ll probably get my results tomorrow, and I’m SO FUCKING NERVOUS!

2. I should prioritize my stuff out.
Even though I have notebook submissions to worry about, I’m reading fanfiction and dreaming about how I’d be so good at quidditch if I went to Hogwarts. If you’re wondering, I’d be a chaser on the Slytherin team.

3. I should not daydream.
Far more often than not, I’m daydreaming about when I’ll go to college, and how it’ll be slightly exciting.
That could not happen too, since it’s pretty difficult to get where I want to, so ugh.

4. Stop hatching evil and innovative schemes for murdering people I dislike.
I’ll give an example. There’s this girl I really, really dislike. She was okay before, but now has become all bitchy. It makes me mad. We’ve got this fight thingy going on.
So, anyway. She recently got new glasses, which suck big time. They’re like a navy frame, and they’re like… aviators. It looks so bad! So, anyway, aviators are like these big things, right? I said I’d break her glasses, and use a large shard of glass to kill her. Coincidentally, the day I came up with that… never gonna happen plan, we saw a ‘Dead Body Van’ pass the school. Wow, talk about Final Destination!
I think I should say this before someone takes this the wrong way: I am secretly a sniper.
Okay, jokes aside, I am just a really bored person. I don’t want to kill anyone. Please, relax.
But really, I can be a sniper. You know those carnival games where you gotta shoot like, pointed stuff out of rifles at balloons or something like that? I used to get bull’s eye every time!

5. Come up with a header for the site on my own.
But that’s gonna be tough! I shall try.

6. Stop trying to have a conversation with my ex boyfriend when he clearly doesn’t want to have one.
In my defence, he’s having fun at college, and I love hearing about his college. Also, he did want to remain friends after the not-so-mutual breakup, so I’m trying, but I guess whatevs. And, he was such great conversation. And, he was a Potterhead. I feel like that is enough. (He’s not dead, so why am I using past tense?)

7. Stop expanding on the list of things I want my sister to get me.
So, my sister lives in the USA, and she’s gonna be visiting after I don’t even know how much time. Like the sweet kid she is, she told me to tell her what she should get for me, and like the greedy little thing I am, I keep piling on more stuff to that imaginary list every time we have a conversation.
Also, more than half the list consists of candy.

8. Decorate my room.
My room still has pink curtains from the time I was in love with all things pink. And it’s slightly frightening now. I like black, so so much. And I like blue. Lots of shades of blue. But, that midnight blue shade is love.

9. Take a picture of the little action scene going on in my room.
Here!

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. The one who got bowed to, is now the one bowing.

The thing to the left is some trophy I won earlier this year. Ignore it. Also, the weird looking metallic thing is a model of done NASA shuttle my mum got when she visited the NASA thing. It ended up falling apart, and is now pretty much a war ruin.

10. Stop feeling so fucking low all the time.
It’s getting so insanely annoying. I can’t deal with this low self esteem stuff. I can’t deal with feeling so fucking inadequate all the time. AND I CAN’T DEAL WITH SPREADING NEGATIVITY SO I’LL JUST TELL YOU HOW WE HAVE A REALLY COOL PROJECT FOR WORK EXPERIENCE IN ENGLISH! WE HAVE TO COOK A FANCY THREE COURSE MEAL AND PLATE UP NICELY AND ALL AND WE’LL BE AWARDED MARKS FOR IT AND I’M GOING CRAZY AND I’M WRITING DOWN ALL THESE FANCY DISHES AND AARGH!
Also, I dearly hope I’m not asked to get the crockery and cutlery, because I’ll go all out and ask mum for her fancy crystal glasses, and fine bone china and all that, and I don’t want to bring them back in pieces.
It’s funny I’m talking about food and crockery already, because we haven’t even made our groups yet. Lol?

That’s all for this post, I hope it made you laugh. In case it didn’t, I’d like to point out that I had my earphones on while I wrote this, and that I was walking around my room, and that I even started dancing weirdly at some point.

Yes, so I’m going to take your leave now, in case I lose all of my dignity. 😂

Love,
Sky xoxo.

P.S.: We are gonna do titration tomorrow for chem practicals!

His Eyes.

I'm so jobless.

And I would tell you that I knew him well,
But it would be a lie, for I don’t think I did
Or anyone else did, for that matter.
He was guarded, always had been;
I wish I could say that he opened up to me,
For that would prove his humanness,
Wouldn’t it? To feel pain is to be human.
However, it would be a lie.
Never once did a whimper of pain leave his
Sculpted lips; never once did those
Stormy eyes shed a tear.
Only infrequently did those beautiful irises
Give any indication of the pain he suffered.
Only infrequently did his eyes ask for help.
And only all the time I wished to give him
The world, the one person who I knew
Deserved it the most.

-×-

I write such weird stuff, lol! And I’ve written a similar thing before, which is funny – there’s no guy around for miles. Well, no guy I’m seeing, and no guy who I currently like like. So, I don’t know how I come up work this stuff. I find it amusing. Those of you lovely people who read my previous post, know I wrote about a book project. Well, that goes on a hiatus, as I have make up exams to do. Such tragedy, much sad.

Well, tell me what you thought of this! Constructive criticism (any criticism) is highly appreciated! Also, my drawing of the WordPress logo is pretty rad, isn’t it? 😂

Love always,
Sky xoxo.

P.S.: One of those days, I’ll sign off with my real name, I get confused sometimes, lol!
P.P.S.: I’m curious; does anyone here write/read on Wattpad?

New (Old) Music, New Semester, New Project, (And Sadness)!

This is not an extremely detailed post. Should I apologize? Nah, Sunday morning is everyday for all I care.

So, moving on. If you got that little reference up there, you’ll know what I’m gonna talk about in the first part of this post. I’ve heard a lot about Nirvana, and the like, so I decided to give the band a go. All in all, I’ve been looking at a lot of vlogs and Nirvana music this weekend, and I’m in love! AND I’M ALSO VERY INTO THE KURT COBAIN MURDER CONSPIRACY THEORY.

School exams are over, and well. I’m not sure if I’ll be allowed to make up the exams I missed, but I really don’t care anymore. I really cannot be bothered to study for them. With that, I’m sure it is obvious that the second half of the school year has begun. I was very excited for this year, because Human Physiology in biology, and I love all things about the human body. When it comes to biology, that is. Not that I don’t love the human body – god, the fuck am I rambling about? I’m not in a good frame of mind today, my apologies. I woke up feeling nauseous, and I’m just not in the mood today. Lots of weakness and body ache today, too. I’m also kinda excited for English, because English I like, and also because I’ve already finished one of the literature textbooks, and I like the second half better than the first. There’s a poem in the second half that I really, really liked. It’s called The Voice of the Rain, and it’s by Walt Whitman.

What else? I kinda like Organic Chemistry, but I’m sorta scared, too. I don’t know. I’m so not ready for this. In December, I’ll be giving my SATs, and I hope that the exam goes good. I don’t know, I feel like I’m under performing, and I really, really want to do well, because if I don’t, I won’t get into a college of my choice. God knows, I might not get to do what I want to. It’s sad that I’ve fallen into the whole idea that unless I get good grades, go to a good college, I won’t be able to be happy in life. Because that’s not true, is it? Education isn’t everything. But I’m really sad that it has happened to me, and it will probably never go away, because that is just the way I am.

Okay, so I had really hoped that I could make this a quick post. I guess not. Anyway, I’ve decided that not being able to read is detrimental to my health. No, really. I have unread books on my bookshelf, and that is a sin. Or well, pretty close to one. So, to rectify that, I have decided to start reading. Now, I know I will not have a lot of time to pursue reading in between the school year, so I have decided to give myself a week for a book. In order to ensure that I don’t slack off, I am going to write something like a review on here. It’s a personal goal, and I hop that I can keep up with it. Alas, that also means I won’t be able to watch a lot of TV shows like I had initially planned, but that’s okay.

I think I will beg my parents to let me go see my best friend, who goes to boarding school in Kerala (state in India). I am hoping they will allow me, but I am not too sure. I think I will ask for a ticket to go see her as my birthday gift, but I don’t know. I hope they allow me, because I want to go see her in the break we get after final exams, that is for a month before the new session begins. Fingers crossed!

I have been pretty depressed this past week, but I don’t think I will write about it now. One reason is that it is already twelve, and I told my mum I’d be in bed by eleven thirty.

I also got my marks (for the exams I did appear), and they are not very good. I didn’t fail in physics or math, but then again. I already knew I was gonna get okay marks. My marks in English were highest in the class (that is the entire eleventh grade science stream, woohoo), but I still wasn’t satisfied with them. I knew I could do better, but you know? I got lesser than what I expected in Physics, so that’s sad. I got what I expected in Math, so that is okay.

I still feel that I’ll never get where I want to go if these are the marks I get now. The feelings I got on seeing my board exam marks are returning full fledgedly now, and it is doing nothing for my low self esteem. I felt like they mixed my results with someone else’s. Apart from this, I’m missing AN (my sweet best friend in Kerala), also RS, another best friend that moved away (she went away to the Northeast), and things are not too good right now.

My bestest friends ever! From left to right, AN, me, RS. Ignore the weird chick in the background.

I wrote her an email she won’t see for another month. That’s how said I am. No internet or computer or mobile allowed in school. Phone calls are allowed, so that’s there. I’m really sad, and yeah.

I think the first book I’m gonna go with is Catcher In The Rye by JD Salinger. I’ve read it before, but I’ve been thinking about rereading it, so that’s the book I’m gonna go with. I really like the book, too.

This is it for tonight.

Buenos noches, amigos y amigas.

Love,
Sky xoxo.

P.S.: I have so many challenges waiting, oh gosh!

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The sound is trivial; insignificant. However, as I’m surrounded by this defeaning silence, it is all I know. The gentle noise fills my ears; a cacophony that doesn’t go away.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

I’m cracking my knuckles; wringing the corner of my flimsy dress. Tapping a foot on the floor, shaking my head rigorously.

Drip.

I’m banging on the walls; screaming in agony.

Drip.

My eyes dart around wildly; hands claw away at emptiness.

Drip.

Suddenly, I’m sinking.

Drip.
Drip.
Drip.

I’m fading away.

Drip.
Drip.
Drip.

I’m fading away into nothingness.

            fin.

Hiatus.

Looks like everyone is doing one of these…

It’s my turn to do this, too! (I’m not excited about the whole thing. Don’t get the wrong idea).

So, my exams begin on the 16th of September, and end on the 30th. That’s basically half this month. But I’m warning you in advance, because of a few reasons:

a) I’m probably switching off my phone for a month starting tomorrow.
b) Inactivity because my level of preparedness: -55863.
c) I’m that suicide chick – the one who took math AND biology. So, must not go down without a fight…
d) OMG I CAN’T FAIL SO BYE BYE FOR A FEW DAYS!

Basically, the abovementioned reasons. I return on the 30th of September (this year only 😐), and will see you then! (I’m tempted to say “Save the date!”, but then again this isn’t a wedding invitation, nor is it an exhibition, or some event like that. Sad though, isn’t it?)

So, that’s it. Who’s going to be sad and miss me when I’m gone? (Okay, nobody. But a girl can dream!)

Anyways, goodbye. For like, a little over 20 days…

Reminds me, here’s a funny conversation between me and my elder sister!

Censoring skills on point.

(My sister and I – we like to talk in weird text language. If you don’t believe me, she scored 2300 in eleventh grade on her first attempt at the SATs. Yes, I know. I’m extremely jealous, too.) (Scores are out of 2400.)

Signing off for a few days!

Love,
Sky xoxo.

P.S.: I will miss you people, regardless of the same sentiment being extended towards me. 😐

Biology Practical Exam!

We have 9 experiments in biology. Out of the nine, I had studied seven. Turns out, the only experiments I had to learn were the first, fourth, eighth and ninth. But since the teacher hadn’t made it clear enough, I studied everything.

Apart from that, classification is redundant. As in, the classification of an organism according to the kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, and species is unnecessary, as I only have to write the name of the organism, and the phylum it belongs to. Not even the scientific name of the organism.

Guess who’s mad?

Apart from that? Only three minutes to identify the animal specimen, draw the labelled diagram of the organism, write two features of the phylum to which it belongs, along with the characteristics of the organism.

Leech, and prawn.

You tell me – who can draw that prawn in 1.5 minutes? (Assuming I get the other stuff down in the other 1.5…)

Well, okay. I also found out that she does two vivas – one about the experiment we’re doing (which is the dissection of a dicot stem/root, or monocot stem/root) – another from what she has taught. Seriously? I need to study 8 chapters for a viva meant to be related to practical stuff done in the lab?

My biology teacher also said how she expects VS and I to score full in the practicals.

Thanks for adding to the nervousness and pressure, ma’am.

I’m gonna go study now. Laterz!

Love,
Sky xoxo.

P.S.: I’m going to refer to real life people by their initials; so much easier than anything else.

A List of Things to be Accomplished.

It’s all in the title.

1. Watching the Aurora Borealis.

2. Going skydiving, bungee jumping, and snorkeling.

3. Learning Spanish.

4. Getting a good SAT score.

5. Conquering my fear of math. Pulverizing him like the annoying thing he is.

6. Building my very own library.

7. Watching all the TV shows I want to watch.

8. Visiting the Dead Sea.

9. Making a medical discovery.

10. Publishing a book(s).

Love,
Sky xoxo.

P.S.: I DON’T EVEN KNOW.

English Writing.

HAHA, this is what we do at school in the writing and grammar period:

LOL

Pay some attention to the jingle!

Lolol

And the pictures! Look how the guy’s mood depends on the amount of strands of dead cells on his scalp!

Lololol

That ™ symbol… Maybe I should enter marketing? Basically because ads curated by yours truly are going to attract crowds like stores with 50-60% off sales attract women. 😂

That’s all for this post!

Love,
Sky xoxo.

P.S.: I’m hanging out here because no school tomorrow and no whatsapp and sigh.

P.P.S.: Gujarat is so interesting right now go Google and find out all about why my school’s closed for tomorrow, and why it was closed today and also why it was closed yesterday.

The Diary of a Young Girl.

We were assigned this book in the tenth grade. It was either this or Helen Keller’s autobiography or something, and frankly, I would pick Anne Frank over Helen Keller any day.

I tried reading the book in seventh grade, but found it… uninteresting at the beginning, which is primarily why I forgot all about it for the next two years.

Anyway, I was happy. We had Gulliver’s Travels in ninth, and I was happy because this seemed more interesting. Now, some people prefer getting summaries of the novel chapter wise, but not me. I like reading the whole thing.

So, the novel. I remember being excited, because it was essentially a diary. A diary is an intimate part of any person, and isn’t that why people like stealing others’ diaries and reading them? Now, I know a huge part of the world has already read the book – nothing intimate about more than a few hundred thousands reading the same diary – but looking at it that way kept it fun.

So, the book was divided into two parts for the two school terms. The first part was okay. It wasn’t very very interesting, but it was okay. I really liked the second part. It was interesting to read, and I just really really liked it.

What really got to me, was the end of the book.

No hint of the fact that she was going to her death after that post. None at all. The very… incompleteness of the whole thing is unsettling.

Says a lot, though.

It might end a lot more suddenly than one might think, and you might not have time to put your affairs in order. I’m just not sure if that’s the tragedy or the beauty of the end.

However, I’m quite sad that she didn’t make it. The fact that she died weeks away from liberation is heart wrenchingly sad.

I really really really want to visit the Anne Frank House.

Lots of love,
Sky xoxo.

P.S.: I’m rereading TFIOS, hence Anne Frank. Though I should’ve done this post sooner.

Misopedia.

Hello! It’s been so long since I last posted, and I must say, I missed this dearly. However, I’m back right now, and well… Yay! Um, onwards with this post. Okay.

Misopedia, in simple terms, is hatred towards children. I’m not exactly a misopedist, but I think I might be. I really don’t know. I just know that I’ve had some really bad experiences with children, and I’m going to narrate a few of them here.

A lot of girls love taking infants from their mothers’ arms and rocking them by themselves. They’ll either walk around with the babies cradled in their arms and sing soft sings to them, or flat out babysit them, including feeding and entertaining them by pulling funny faces. Now, I was no different. I was very into this whole thing of caring for little kids. It was only after I was faced with their blatant disregard for my kindness (lol) that I stopped.

A few years ago, I was in fifth grade, maybe. It was a small get together, including people from dad’s office and all. One of the women had the cutest baby girl, and I loved pulling her cheeks and all that. I requested the aunty to give her daughter to me, and promised to not hurt her, or drop her, et cetera. However, after five minutes of being in my arms, she threw up on me. Like, excuse me? I’m trying to fucking keep you happy here. Can I get some (if not a lot) appreciation?

Sigh.

This was one thing.

Then there was another baby girl. She was the prettiest little thing I had ever seen. Her mother always dressed her in the cutest of outfits, only adding to the overall cute factor. Argh, she was adorable! However, whenever I tried to pick her up, she would start crying. I remember standing in front of the mirror, trying to figure out if there was something wrong with my face which scared her.

After that, I stooped bothering with little kids at all. I remember there was this kid in third who had a crush on me, when I was in seventh. His mother laughingly mentioned it as his first older girl crush. I remember how my sister teased me about it.

Then, only today, while I was going back home from school, I saw the cutest band of little girls going home. This little trio didn’t sit in the auto rickshaw as people normally did – they sat in the back, so they could look out the back of the rickshaw which was open. Oh my god, I remember smiling at their cuteness! Also, a girl smiled back at me when I smiled at her. Is all hope not yet lost?

Let me know about your equation with little kids! Are you a midopedist, or the very opposite?

Lots of love,
Sky XOXO.